One of the things that surprised me at the Mystic and Mysteries event, was the number of people who were curious about what my tool box held. I shouldn’t have been surprised. I am one of those individuals who needs to know what lies within things. And so, I thought I would take a few minutes to explain the items that I carry to such places.

There’s my trusty pendulum, (which turned out to be not so trusty, but that’s another story ;) a time piece, a variety of decks, and a few bits and bobs that symbolize the meaning of elements, suits, etc.. Physical things that I can touch, and see often help me absorb, and hold a less concrete idea.

Of course, these items change over time. Different decks…different ideas are always flowing through my life. And so, with the recent gift of The Wildwood Tarot by Mark Ryan and John Matthews, (illustrations by Will Worthington) my tools are again changing.

Yes, for those who have been reading this blog, and keeping track of my ramblings. I did say that I was going to wait until after my 78 weeks with The Grail Tarot by John Matthews before moving on to The Wild Wood Tarot. But I’ve also said that I change theories often, and I’m very glad I do. I absolutely love this Tarot Deck. The illustrations are like a gateway into the world of Stick To The Story for me, and the connections made to Robin Hood are…well, you know how I feel about Robin Hood.

The Seer Card in this deck, (in the traditional place of High Priestess) has The Seer using a staff, an arrowhead, cup, and stone as the four elements in meditation. And amazingly enough, it was not the staff that caught my attention in this case. It was the arrowhead.

You see, the arrowhead has me viewing Air in a completely different way than swords do. I have always been more of an acceptor than a hunter. Accepting the truth of what is really there…cutting away any covering of personal deception, and working with what I have, has been my choice for a while. But an arrow, now that’s a tool that reaches targets from a distance; a tool that allows time to take aim, and a tool that leaves the ground, and soars.

Being married to a treasure hunter has always held its blessings, and having arrowheads in the house…when one is meditating on arrowheads…has definitely been one of them. In fact, I was actually given an arrowhead on a chain, in lieu of an engagement ring, those many years ago. But holding babies, and wearing sharp weapon type things around your neck do not mix well. So, my engagement symbol was put away. (I really should bring it out again) But this is not the story of that arrowhead. No, this is the tale of a treasure that Dave did not find.

Many years ago, my husband organized a small hunting expedition. It took place in a nearby, recently tilled field, (which of course he had obtained permission to be in) and its aim was to find flint shards, and… ultimately…an arrowhead. And no, I wasn’t a hunter, but I did want to show an interest in my dear one’s passion, and so I joined the group. However…

As the hunt began, and we all found our places, he began explaining the best way to go about looking for an arrowhead. I instantly realized that this was going to take some time, and I hadn’t brought a coffee with me. In fact, there was no way of obtaining a coffee in sight, and…well, you know how I feel about coffee.

Suddenly, I was overcome by a great impatience, (probably due to a lack of caffeine, not my nature ;) and knew I needed to act quickly. Looking up… instead of looking down, which would have been the most logical way of finding my ticket out of that field, I sent a silent request to whatever powers may have been listening. “Would you please just let me find an arrowhead, so I can get a coffee?”

In those younger days, for whatever reason, I had grown rather accustomed to having such requests answered. So, I was not surprised when I did look down into the freshly turned earth beneath my feet, and found an arrowhead peeking out. Grasping it, as if it were life itself, I immediately shouted, “I found one.” Of course, this completely cut off Dave’s explanation, and I’m now realizing how rude that was. So, I am giving a belated apology…even though I am still blaming a lack of caffeine for such behavior.

“You couldn’t have!” was his distant reply, as he began to walk over to my designated spot. “It’s probably just a piece of one.”

I can still remember the look of amazement on his face as he took it from my hand for inspection. He saw a treasure, but I saw a tool. He held a piece of the past, and I had found a way to my desired end. Of course, as we have learned over the years, we were both correct in our own way. But those were early days, and whatever powers may have been listening could see much farther than one Saturday morning in a field.

Now, as I hold that arrowhead in my hand, I am grateful to its creator. I can see exactly where each chip was made. I understand the knowledge that was needed to remove the unnecessary flint, so the sharpness of this weapon could be developed. I respect the focus it took to continue working despite chapped hands, and unkind weather. And I am both honoured, and humbled to begin understanding this hunter through his work. For understanding is the only word I can use to explain how I feel now.

There is a confidence, gained through years of practice, as aim is taken, and the tension of a bow stretched to its limits before release. There is the exhaling of breath, and then an eternal silence, as the arrow’s flight is followed with both the eyes and soul. But most strongly understood…most strongly felt is the mingling of joy, and sadness as its goal is reached. To know that you are responsible for the ebbing of one life, so that it may flow and become the source for another is overwhelming. To be this hunter…is to see, and feel all these things with complete clearness within seconds. To be this hunter…is to know your own power, and to live the truth of this power over, and over again.

Yes, physical things that I can touch, and see often help me absorb, and hold a less concrete idea. And although, I change my theories and tools often, I have a feeling that this arrowhead, and The Wild Wood Tarot will be in my tool box for some time to come.

While visiting with my old friend Legend The Arthurian Tarot by Anna-Marie Ferguson this morning, I came across a very happy connection. Its inspirational Cauldron of Annwn, or the Temperance card, reminded me of our own pot of inspiration this weekend.

I originally started calling our big old soup pot a Cauldron because, for me, it seemed to symbolize all the characteristics of home and hearth that I wanted reflected in our family. You see, I have always been enchanted by the last line of Maurice Sendak’s Where the Wild Things Are .

“But Max stepped into his private boat and waved good-bye
And sailed back over a year
And in and out of weeks
And through a day
And into the night of his very own room
Where he found his supper waiting for him
And it was still hot.”

I wished for a home where no matter how many wolf suits you put on, or how many monsters you had faced and ruled, (or not) or even how long you had been away…you knew you would always find a hot bowl of soup, and of course…a patient ear to hear the tales of your adventures. To me, such a place would be magical, and so the pot holding that soup would be magical, too. That pot would be a Cauldron.

This weekend, when I made my facebook status, “Vicky Bennison is heading to the grocery store soon, because it is the perfect day for Dave to make one of his magical Cauldrons of homemade soup. Wishing you all the enchantment that warmth and comfort can bring.” I had no idea just how magically inspirational that soup would be.

Over the last few days, I have heard several stories of how his pot of goodness inspired many others. In fact there were three pots of goodness in our home, alone. There was a vegetarian option, a beef vegetable option, and even a can of chicken noodle... for the one who didn’t find the others just right. And now, I am enchanted by the vision of many Maxes coming home to a bowl of hot soup. A day of mischief, travel, and monster befriending justly rewarded.

These are busy days…lots of company coming, ideas simmering, and a weekend of gratitude to celebrate. But thanks to the Temperance card…I will remember to keep my patient ears, and eyes on. Because, like the Cauldron in Hans Christian Anderson’s Stone Soup, mine would be empty without all the distractions those I love have contributed to it.

So, once again, this Disinherited Knight is wishing you all the enchantment that warmth and comfort can bring...and a bountiful cauldron.

Hmmm...I wonder if there is any soup left. ;)

I did it! I wrote thirty-one blogs in August. Now, what do I do?

Well, I take some time to stare at the lake…to be, and do nothing. I return to the forest and spend some time with The Green Man…trudging through the soon to fall leaves…breathing in the end of another year. I attend a Pagan Festival, sit by the fire, read and research. I live the life I love, with the people I love. I will simply exist, observe and consider. Then on a certain day, when I am too full of ideas and thoughts to hold them within any longer, I will be back to share them with you. You are always so good at listening. But before I do all those things, I have one last thing to share in August.

I have not been completely honest with you. *Waiting for mouths to drop, and exclamations of astonishment to escape. ;) This became clear to me, as I drew the Great River Anduin card from The Lord of the Rings Oracle by Terry Donaldson, two nights ago. A portion of its meaning is this, “Look at your personal secrets---all those personal experiences, hopes, desires, that you never tell anyone. These give rise to feelings of guilt and a feeling of “withholding oneself.” So, what is it I have been withholding?

Wanting to confirm my initial suspicions, I turned to my pendulum for a second opinion. This was the message it gave to me, “Each facebook story about a reading for others has faced an Earth Cage, about belief in cards. Answer it tomorrow and fear is paper history. No more paper story about keys to answer. You do believe in power of cards and pendulum.”

After sticking my tongue out at said pendulum, which is becoming a part of our nightly ritual together, I had to confess. I do want to be a professional Tarot and Oracle reader, but one little detail has been holding me back. I would never want anyone to take the stories I read from the cards as their complete truth. I believe the power in the cards, and pendulum is one of guidance. As in this quote from a Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, “Are these the shadows of things that must be, or are they the shadows of things that MIGHT be?" They are always visions of MIGHT be, you have the power to change any card you are given. Like Ebenezer himself, you can rewrite your future.

For example, I could ignore the cards I have been given, and remain in my safe cocoon, but I really do want to read cards professionally. It is a natural extension of being a storyteller, to read aloud the images they reveal. So, I need to let go of the details, and start trusting the whole picture…to be completely honest about this secret desire.

But just in case…I was sent The Green Man Tree Oracle by John Matthews and Will Worthington yesterday, by a reader who was clearing off her own shelves and thought I might like them. And yes, I do like them and have already played with them a great deal, thank you. I decided to ask the Green Man what he thought about this matter, by pulling one card. I pulled the Fern. Its Green Man wisdom, “Truth is the preserver of life. Seeking neither to live nor to believe a lie unburdens the soul, and allows truth to restore the quality of life.” Okay, enough confirmation, I am going to speak the truth of wanting to start a card reading business, as an extension service of Stick to the Story, and my storytelling duties.

However, in keeping with the cards and pendulum as guidance theme, I am going to let the cards guide the actual way in which this business is run. I’ve already asked the pendulum how much I should charge…thirty dollars, and even when to operate. According to my Celtic Message cards by Jules Taylor, Autumn Equinox (Sept. 23) is “an ideal time to take stock of your life and all that you have accomplished. The Cards may help you to determine if you need to make an adjustment in your lifestyle to achieve harmony and contentment.”

I am accepting appointments for September 23rd, and will see where things are guided from there. I’ll post details in the Stick to the Story info section, along with other news, shortly. But if you are interested, you can email me at recess@cogeco.ca for now, and I’ll fill you in.

I also wanted to share this tidbit of information, concerning today’s blog title. I’ve been playing with the slogan Stick to the Story…and live happily ever after, for our staff business. I didn’t want to actually use it, until I proved its validity. Since the time that my pendulum gave me Ivanhoe as part of our Robin Hood story, I have been amazed at the connection it has shown with my own life. Ivanhoe’s need to rest, due to injuries, while the world went on without him…has been a great reminder to me that my participation is not always needed. I have been more content to write, rest and do my exercises this month, because I knew in the end I would be rejoining our family’s story in a more active role…and live happily ever after.

There really is a story for all of us…a metaphor that can see us through the toughest of times. It’s not a way of running away from reality, but a way to see that even though we may have been given a less than perfect Once Upon a Time... there is always a way to turn it around.

Until our paths meet again dear friends, I remain as always...your grateful and humble Disinherited Knight.

I promised in an earlier blog to discuss how this whole pendulum business works. Believing it was best to start with my own humble pendulum beginnings, I was waiting for permission to include an Intuition Development instructor’s name. Let’s face it, I do get up to some shenanigans, and I will always ask permission before connecting others to them. However, she said yes! So, here’s the story…

In the fall of 2008, I was browsing through a list of interest courses which our local school system hosts during the evenings. You never know what you are going to find on such lists, and I was curious. In the Body & Health section I saw a course called Intuition Development, and quickly turned the pages to its description. This is what I read:

“Awaken your intuition with easy-to-learn methods. Explore a variety of tools such as dowsing rods, tea leaves, and cards. Delve into your past lives and dreams to help understand your current situation. Learn about your energy field and how to make it stronger and healthier. Everyone, has the ability…now is your time to learn.”

I turned back to the course list to see how much such a cornucopia of intuition information was going to cost me…$66.00. I dropped the booklet, and headed towards the phone to inquire if a friend would like to join me on this quest. She said yes

As you know, I had already been researching these things on my own, but this course, taught by Lynn Nicholls, was exactly what I needed at the time. Her methods of encouraging independent exercises, and research were right up this Disinherited Knight’s alley. There were always handouts, and book suggestions available. I met some fantastically talented people, which encouraged further study and coffee out.(always a plus ;) And let me tell you, there is nothing like the energy created by twenty-five pendulums swinging all at once. I quickly became hooked on mine, and it has taken me on some fantastic journeys since that time.

Lynn is an accomplished Psychic Medium in her own right. Last spring she suggested that I should not get a job because I was physically a mess. There were things that had already manifested in my body. Of course, being the stubborn little knight that I am…I ignored the suggestion, and got a job. I think the evidence of her foresight has already been well documented in this blog. She’s been correct about other things as well. And, I am currently considering another of her suggestions…that I have been stubborn about, but we’ll leave that for tomorrow.

If you are not blessed with such a course in your area, there are many other options for learning about pendulums, out there. Yes, I could write out boring instruction for hours, but I really think in this case a visual tutorial is best. I scanned YouTube and found one that looks quite good. Here it is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3wjWxajoeo. There really are so many to choose from, so get comfy and enjoy.

Oh, and I did create my own YouTube channel a couple weeks ago. Inspired by other video makers in my home, I thought it would be fun to create some myself. I haven’t had a chance to make any yet, but stay tuned…because coming soon…to a computer near you…there just may be my very own pendulum tutorial video. Won’t that be exciting? (for me anyway ;)

I’m going to include a link to the DSBN course list, if you are interested in Lynn Nicholl’s course. Just click on General Interest Courses, and it will take you to a whole file of information. http://www.dsbn.org/Community/community-content.aspx?id=2220. I’ll leave it to Lynn, if she is reading this, to add any other contact information to the comments section. I didn’t ask permission for that, and I’m not exactly sure what the best method is.

It doesn’t matter how you learn the pendulum, what does matter is that you spend time playing with it. Playing in a respectful manner, of course, but playing all the same. And before you know it, you will be getting into the swing of things.

Simple Simon might have met a pie man going to the fair, but we met a supplier for willow staffs going to the grocery store, yesterday. One of the challenges, of not having our own forest, is finding a continuous source for various types of wood. As we gain more knowledge about walking sticks, our desire to experiment with different textures, colours, and energies grows.

We have spent a great deal of time considering possibilities, and making lists for could be contacts to further our resources. Then, we magically fell into one. So, the question then becomes…was all that thinking a waste of time, or would we have seen this opportunity so clearly if we hadn’t been thinking about it? Either way, there will be at least ten willow staffs seasoning soon for next spring.

Not having a forest of our own is not an unusual thing in these days of an ever growing population. Over the years, we have learned to find our special trees, and sacred nature places in public parks. One of the things that we are truly blessed with in Ontario is the Provincial Parks system, and I know there are similar systems in other areas.

Lately, I have started working on a personal project which I am calling Without a Forest Of Our Own. It is a cross between a scrapbook, and a personal spiritual field guide…a family memory album of all those places we have been drawn to, over and over again.

Why didn’t I record these things as I lived them? Well, I’ve learned that living doesn’t always leave time for recording. There have been so many times that people have asked, “Why didn’t you get a picture of that?” And I will answer, “Because I was too busy enjoying it.” Besides, as anyone who has ever carried changes of clothes, snacks, drinks, and crayons knows…there isn’t always an extra hand for a camera. So, now that I do have time and an extra hand, I’m eager to get started.

Not only do I wish to preserve what has happened, but I am using this guide book to plan what I want to happen. The year moves so quickly, I often miss the opportunity to celebrate a special moment. I’m going to share one of those special trees with you now, as an example of my plan. Of course, I don’t have a picture of it. You see, I was holding on to a dog leash. ;)

There is, on the shore of Lake Erie, a very kind willow tree. It has always provided us with shade, as we look out over the water. My family is very patient with me, as I hurry them out the door before each visit. I don’t want to lose my cherished willow spot to other picnickers. There are some things worth rushing for, and this tree is one of them.

According to Mickie Mueller in Llewellyn’s Witches’ 2010 Datebook, “The willow is heavily associated with the Moon and Goddess energy. You may ask the willow tree to charge and bless your divination tools, tarot deck, crystal ball, runes, ogham set, etc., during the month of the willow tree.” Since, the Celtic tree calendar puts the month of the willow tree between April 15th and May 12th, I wish to visit my picnicking tree then.

So, I either wait until this park opens on exactly May 12th in 2012, and conveniently camp near the lake for my moonlight ritual, or I actually perform this ritual on a Monday night as Mickie Mueller suggests. That would mean adventuring quite a way through the park in the dark, as the gates will not be open, yet. We often visit this place unopened during the day, but what are its rulings on nighttime visitors?

Actually, the more I think about this…the more I like the idea of an adventurous nighttime excursion.

So, if you hear about some woman in a cloak, wielding a toy sword, and refusing to leave government property next spring…you’ll know who it is. Hmmm…I wonder if my family is patient enough to bail me out. Now, that would make a memorable scrapbook entry.

One of my biggest challenges in this world, is finding time to participate in all the delicious experiences it has to offer. A quick morning scan of our local newspaper, my facebook page, or even the view outside of a window can have me sighing, wistfully. There are so many interesting activities and people, choosing can often become difficult.

Autumn often finds my mind, and our family swirling like the leaves. Two of our most loved holidays, Thanksgiving and Halloween, are in October. There is my daughter’s birthday to celebrate, and the number of fairs, and festivals doubles. Then…there are the historical events.

There is something about this time of year that inspires us to seek out the past. And I must say, the local historical sites have always been most accommodating. The number of ghost tours increase, the cool weather encourages the lighting of fires and the baking of gingersnaps. With the smell of wassail filling many a fort’s air…the ingredients of past and present have been mixed so perfectly that we begin to lose sight of their boundaries. This pseudo 19th century world is where I like to play until December. I’m particularly looking forward to that playtime this year, because it will lead right up to the new Sherlock Holmes movie opening. If I don’t end up with a top hat by then, it will not be because I haven’t looked for one.

However, there are only 31 days in October, and they fill up quickly. One of the offerings we haven’t always had the time to partake in is… Doors Open Niagara.

Doors Open events take place all over the world. They began in France in 1984, and allow the public to visit local heritage sites. We have enjoyed seeing the inside workings of everything from the Cham Shan Buddhist Temple to the Morningstar Gristmill, on those magic days. Many of the Doors Open listed sites are not usually available to the public. Those that are usually available for an admission fee will often be free. It is an incredible opportunity for the curious.

Yesterday, as yesteryears began to attract me, I asked my husband to check out this year’s Doors Open Niagara listings. He couldn’t find them. He couldn’t even find the event listed. So, I asked this box of information if one of our favourite doors to the past had closed. Apparently, they have not closed, but they are making a timing transition to June. It seems, we are not the only ones to find fitting this experience into our busy autumn difficult.

In a world full of open doors, it’s not always easy to know which ones to walk through. It is very nice to learn that there are doors opening everywhere, and at all times. I may even stop sighing, wistfully. ;)

I have added a link to Doors Open Ontario, if you are interested. You can connect to Doors Open all over the world from there. http://www.doorsopenontario.on.ca/scripts/home.asp?action=31&P_ID=1&N_ID=1&PT_ID=39&U_ID=0&OP_ID=2

You never know what you are going to find, when you stroll down your street. This morning we found a box of earthenware, Manufactured by Ridgway Pottery of Staffordshire England , for only five dollars. We were drawn to the historical scenes each piece displayed, and rushed home to research our newest find…the Citadel of Kingston Heritage Collection.

The scenes which inspired our purchase were created by William Henry Bartlett, an English artist and world traveller. A talented topographer, it is as if each of his works…that I have found so far…could be called A Day In The Life Of. And having also purchased a book about Laura Secord today, I was especially interested in his watercolour Queenston.

I have been thinking about doing more research concerning The Great Lakes, The St. Lawrence Seaway, and surrounding areas. Their stories are closer to my home, and I’ve been wondering if that would bring a different energy to my work. Could it be that this English artist from the 19th century is inspiring me through his own work. I have visions of researching away, while drinking tea from a Quebec cup, and a Village of Cedar saucer. I could even eat cookies off of my Fredericton desert plate. I do love a theme.

So, this was A Day In The Life Of Me…strolling, finding,researching…and of course checking eBay to see if we found a treasure (but a pirate never tells ;)

Now, I think it is time to research the cupcake recipe book, I also bought. Have a sweet night everyone.

“Yep, ignore my last theory.” The Doctor

Oh yes, I love this quote. It gives me so much freedom. Immediately after writing yesterday’s blog, I began questioning my dream theory. I just couldn’t figure out what part of my life I hadn’t been choosing to live freely in, and I’m fairly honest with myself. If I’m going to understand what motivates me, then self dishonestly is not going to help. And understanding what motivates me, is my way of getting what I want.

But should we want things? It’s amazing how quickly thoughts of selfishness, and greediness enter the mind when such a phrase is shared. I don’t think it’s a matter of whether we should, or we shouldn’t Want. I think it’s more of a fact that we will Want. Even if we believe we should shed every personal Want for a greater purpose, we are still Wanting to shed every personal Want.

Knowing what we really Want makes life less complicated. It frees us from judging what other people Want, because we’re too busy getting what we Want. It saves time spent being jealous when someone else gets what they Want, as it encourages us to see that getting what we Want is possible. And on a very practical note…it saves money, because we’re not susceptible to others telling us what we Want. Commercials don’t bother me, because I know they are not offering anything I Want.

I have Wanted many different things in my life, but they all fall under one category. I Want the freedom, and independence to make my own choices. This isn’t something tangible you can put a price on, but it does cost a great deal. Ignoring the monetary costs, because I’m not sure they could be calculated…my Want’s biggest cost is responsibility. If I screw up, there is no one to blame but myself. I either have to accept my mistakes as they are, or come up with a new theory to move on with. There’s no blaming a system, or another person.

I’m not saying this is a bad Want, or a good Want. I’m not saying it is a better Want, or a worse Want. I’m just saying that after forty-nine years on this planet, I know it is my Want and understanding that Want is going to make me happier than a more material Want.

So, the question then becomes…In what aspect of my life are freedom and independence in choice absent? The answer is…my healing.

When I considered the pendulum message, “Go to rusty facebook story,” besides realizing that living with Yoda’s riddles would become somewhat annoying after awhile, I realized something else. The “rusty facebook story” was the story of my accepting new physical limitations, and learning to live with them. My body was not moving freely, it was acting rusty. I was working towards changing what I could of that movement, and making life changes to accommodate what I couldn’t . My period of healing was transforming back into living, and I was very happy for that transformation. I was celebrating and wearing my glad rags.

However, those who deal in illness daily don’t know me, or understand my need for freedom. They sometimes take full responsibility for others healing, because there are people that prefer them to do so. They continually monitor the situation, and call you in for appointments or tests which will only confirm the same information…you have a problem. I realize this would keep some people on track, the fear would motivate them. However, I am not those people.

Whispers of annoyance have begun to surface. When I knew I needed help, I asked for it. I was given the knowledge I needed, and I am grateful for that. But now I am ready to get to work, and merge that knowledge with my life, and the things I know of myself. I know this is a lifetime project, so I need to stop thinking of it as healing and start thinking of it as living.

How does all this fit in with my dream? Well, the image of a child that I am most fond of …is the image of a child living in freedom, and making their own choices. The question then becomes…How do I make sure that imagined child remains with me? Monitoring will be needed, but do I trust and monitor myself, or follow what many consider the stable and committed path of endless appointments and reminders from others.

According to my dream, I choose freedom of expression. So, next week I will discuss this situation with my doctor and explain who I am. I will assure him that I have nothing against regular check-ups, and I am always ready to ask for assistance as needed…as I have done before. However, I am now accepting the responsibility of monitoring myself for a lengthier stretch of time, and therefore will accept full responsibility if I screw up. Already, those whispers of annoyance are disappearing.

Changing your theory is never a bad thing. It often takes several tries to get something right. I am now reconsidering my changing of “hire arts” to “higher arts.” Maybe my pendulum did mean “hire arts.” I’m sure in time, that message will also reveal itself more clearly.

Thanks for reading, and ignoring my last theory. Your patience is amazing.

My project of following one card a week from The Grail Tarot by John Matthews, has experienced a shaky beginning. Its first question, “What are you seeking in your life?” presented some difficulties. As I’ve admitted, I have a great tendency not to look where I am going. Deciding what I wanted from life seemed to involve doing just that. So, I tried to focus on where I wanted to go.

Last night was the end of my first week, and my time with that first card. Today meant moving on to the next card, and I still hadn’t found the answer I was seeking. With the storm raging outside, I asked The Giver of Answers to assist me. I also asked The Giver of Stories for help with today’s blog. Having done all I knew to do, I quickly fell asleep…unaware of the changes the wind was blowing in.

It’s been a while since I’ve remembered a dream clearly. For whatever reason, my system has decided to wake earlier and my clearest hours for dreaming have consequently disappeared. However, last night was different. And for reasons, which will become clearer as its meaning is revealed, I am sharing that dream with you.

But first, I must reveal my dream’s cast and what they symbolize to me. If, in the past, you have ever caught an episode of Northern Exposure…you will surely remember the character of Chris Stevens played by John Corbett. I loved Chris. His ability to share all his thoughts on different religions, myths, music, and art…openly and freely, was my idea of living life to the fullest. If only I could do that, I thought. But I didn’t live in Cicely, and the atmosphere it created. However, it appears that I have never let go of that vision, even though I hadn’t consciously thought of it for years.

My dream’s next character seemed less defined. I can’t remember his face. I do remember a sense of the traveller about him, but where he was travelling I do not know. All I know, is that I wasn’t very fond of him.

So, in this dream there was a child. I was very attached to this child, but it seems he wasn’t completely mine, and the authorities were planning to take him away. The only solution was to get married. The invisible, and nameless authorities wanted to see me make a commitment, and prove my stability.

It was decided by Chris that I would marry the faceless traveller, because he appeared more stable than himself, and plans were being made. Plans, I must add, that I had not chosen. Having plans made that include me in their execution, but not in their decision making, tends to leave me feeling a little cranky. I was not impressed, and besides I wasn’t sure I really liked the faceless traveller. I immediately rebelled.

“If I’m going to get married, I’m going to marry you.” I said, or possibly yelled at Chris. I was cranky, and I felt this was a fairly safe statement to make. Chris was also open on his views of marriage, and more directly… his not wanting to become involved in one. Surely, he would back out, and another solution would be found. Perhaps, I could keep this child without making a commitment.

Imagine my surprise, when he walked over and kissed my cheek. “If you wanted to marry me, why didn’t you just say so?” he whispered. “Now, we are going to have to trick him, so we don’t hurt his feelings,” he added, nodding towards my previously planned betrothed.

I don’t have a concrete memory of how that tricking was going to take place, because the man I chose to marry in this world was beginning to leave his dreams and re-enter it. His waking usually calls to my own. The day had begun.

Of course, I haven’t had time to analyze everything is this dream. As usually happens, I’m sure my memory will reveal more to me as the day goes on. But I do feel, that I was making a commitment to that inner Chris which I’ve carried within me. I am choosing freedom, over stability. And even though, I thought that I had made that commitment many times before, perhaps I was just tricking myself. It really is time for me to wake up, before I waste any more of my dream doing that.

It is a scary thing to share a dream. It offers aspects of your self up for interpretation that usually remain hidden. So, I just wanted to explain that the symbolism of marriage is usually that of a joining, or a new beginning. It does not mean I am looking for freedom outside of my very real marriage. (Did you hear that, Dave ;) I almost didn’t share this story for that reason, but then I asked my pendulum…and got this message.

“Do share story of dream kiss for gift to shine about hire arts. Go to rusty facebook story in rags of gladness. It is a celebration.”

*note* I do believe that the “hire” should be “higher.” My pendulum uses the shortest spelling for most words.

I always share celebrations, and really don't want my stories to remain rusty. So, here it is...let the party begin!

We’re still working our way through back episodes of Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares. There are various reasons we are attracted to this series, but I’ve developed an attraction that wasn’t anticipated. There’s something in Mr. Ramsay’s words that appeals to my idea of practical wisdom . In the episode The Sandgate Hotel, he says this, “Lois and Peter bought a dream. Now they need to wake up to the fact that it's a business not a second home.”

Because of the experiences I have had working in kitchens, it is an easy step for me to connect kitchen dreams to my own dream of becoming a writer. Participating in BEDA these past weeks, has started to develop some of the necessary discipline and focus I will need to continue in my independent writing apprenticeship. So, once again I am in need of changing my wording. My dream is not to be a writer. I am writing, for better or worse, in an amateur way. My dream is to become a professional writer… to eventually utilize it as a method of contributing to the household coffer. I am waking up to the fact that it is a business.

So, what other words of wisdom have I found in Kitchen Nightmares? Never put your ego before your customers. As I count down the number of days I have left with this BEDA quest, I am already beginning to plan my next writing adventure. Over the next two months, I will need to decide what type of novel I will attempt for National Novel Writing Month. Then I will need to write its outline, and research any necessary details in preparation for the actual writing.

If I were opening a restaurant, I would ask the surrounding community what it is looking for in a dining establishment. I would also check out the successful competition… to study the reasons for their success, and to see if there is a niche open that needs filling.

Last night my daughter suggested that I write some type of supernatural mystery novel. She believes I may have a natural flair for this, and I’ve already asked her to give me the names for a couple of recently published titles in this genre.

Since you are my community, I was wondering if I could ask you a favour. If you are a reader of fiction and you have a few free minutes, could you please let me know what you like to read, or even what you don’t like to read. You could even let me know… what genre you think I might have a flair for writing.

Where does passion, and inspiration fit into all this? It’s there. I’m just giving it a little discipline. I have lots of time to write about what inspires me. In fact, I’ve been subjecting you all to those inspirations for a few months, now. And for passion…you would be amazed at how quickly I can become passionate about something. But if I am going to make my dream of becoming a professional writer a reality, I need to see it in very real terms. If I don’t, there is the possibility that the sun will set on it. There is no one doing a reality show called Writing Nightmares, I’d be stuck. ;)

Please send your suggestions to recess@cogeco.ca, my personal message box on facebook, or leave a comment below. I'm sorry the free samples I provide don't taste as good as a restaurant's , all
I can send out are my thank yous. :)



